Monday, October 5, 2009

A double skinny what on a leash?

Generally I don't do coffee, the resulting migraines make it not quite worth the risk, and the entire coffee culture is really beyond me anyways. Sorry, or maybe I am not. I'm a "make it at home" green tea drinker. We visited a local Starbucks on Sunday, and it started outside the door, it was obvious that I did not fit in. Wrong clothes, wrong car, wrong attitude, and the wrong language. Felt like high school all over again. The new yuppies are invading our lovely locale. Everyone projecting this insouciant attitude, so unlike mine. This image conscious area of Ocean Park is being overrun lately with yoga pants, expensive runners, and Prada bags that lay cowering under the chairs. It just doesn't make me want to join in the fun. I had a coffee craving to fulfill, and I was on a mission. Turned out I was in the wrong lineup, asked for the wrong size, and didn't know the lingo. They actually put out a brochure explaining how to order your favorite beverage of choice. Maybe I should have studied up first, but all I wanted was a small coffee.
The line that sticks in my head is one from a article years ago touting the new drink lingo, a uninitiated coffee drinkers cheat sheet. A low fat soy latte to go, becomes a "double, dry, skinny soy puppy on a leash. " Make mine a green tea, I'll make it at home, thank you very much.

19 comments:

  1. I'm with you, green tea at home & if I want coffee (just plain regular coffee), I can make that too.

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  2. I do love my Starbucks but have cut back on the fatty, calorie-laden drinks and now have to ask for something special. But I am still surprised at the variety of things people ask for and it is intimidating to anyone who doesn't know the lingo. Never heard of the double dry puppy! haha
    BTW, Love your new banner at top!

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  3. LOL. I usually feel so out of touch and old. For the price of the stuff you would think they would make it easy for us to order a plain old coffee.

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  4. I do love drinking coffee out.. Luckily, here a cappuccino is still just a cappuccino...

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  5. You sound so much like me Jen. Many years ago while browsing in the bookstore, Nalley and I ordered a frapucinno at the Starbucks - we had heard/seen an ad for it. I was very intimidated by the entire process and to make matters worse, it must have been mostly milk as I got violently sick - I'm lactose intolerant! Oh well, I'll make my own at home too!

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  6. I am so out of the loop myself....coffee out for me is a drive through at McDonalds!!

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  7. Well I love my coffee and sorry to say I love Starbucks coffee but my coffee group and I never would meet up there.
    We always go to ZenBerry where you would never feel intimidated by the staff.
    Now if you have a hangover and can't get to ZenBerry then a venti (20oz)Caramel Machhiatto will get you through the morning. Or so I have been told.Lol.

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  8. Oh poor big sister! My nearest Starbucks is a 35 minute drive away. One of our good friends was horrified to learn my daughter hadn't been in a starbucks yet at the age of 16! (my son still hasn't, he's now 16) Oh my! What a set back to thier social development! I tend to enjoy the home style establishments better.

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  9. Just remember, your money is as good as theirs. I bet the Barristas were thankful you were in line to slow down the regulars. Afterall, it gave them a break from all that beating, frothing, steaming, fridge opening and closing, whipping and pouring. Next time you're in there - why not ask them why call a Small a Tall? I've always been curious.

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  10. Gosh, Jen. I got caught up with the Prada bags. You mean people really own those things? I thought they were just for magazine spreads in Vogue. Now I have been to Starbucks, there is one in the Target store. They do have some delicious hot chocolate. I love Barbara's comment, the servers probably were glad to have a breather. You should have hemmed and hawed and taking forever trying to decide what to have too. Next time. My husband does that, taking forever to get his order out, just to bug me. HA

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  11. Most of my post was more of a lament on the way our cute little community is changing. Yoga pants? Prada bags? This is a tiny little seaside community, full of "old money". And they don't show it off. All of the old places are being torn down, and replaced with McMansions, and BMW's. This new neighboor is glittery, glamorous, and loud!

    Yes, change is inevitable, but when my little local veggie store is full of yoga pants, blackberries [that are not fruit], and three wheeled strollers cluttering up the aisles, I guess I complain. So the truth has come out. But I still find Starbucks extremely overwhelming, and anyways, I like my green tea, made at home.

    Jen

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  12. It's why I love my new country life. The fast paced city style just isn't for me anymore... and I just hate it when "they" decide to take over another lovely old-style community!!! Boo - hiss! I feel your pain Jen!

    And Barbara, I have ALWAYS wondered why the small is called a Tall at Starbucks. Being from the advertising field, it just reminds me of all the untruths in advertising. Take a negative and make it a positive connotation, because you know, people are stupid (dripping sarcasm). And the precise reason why I don't want to work in advertising ever again!

    I'll make my own coffee at home, usually a hazelnut or vanilla flavor, a special treat for me only sometimes. On very rare occasions, I will get a hazelnut coffee at Panera. I'm just not a fan of Starbucks!

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  13. Can I remember their lingo? No way. I just say it the way I want it, small latte, or small green tea, no sugar. Who can fill his brain with all that lingo? I know some can. Not me.

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  14. Oh Jen I am so right there...only been into Starbucks once and was so out of my element I never went back...well except to use the restroom with one during potty training and that was an emergency!

    On my 5th cup of green tea while typing...hoping it will cure the flu! Kim

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  15. I come from a long line of devoted coffee drinkers. I have tried to force myself to drink it but I am a tea girl through and through...wonder if I am adopted?

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  16. Me either, I don't know what in the world all that lingo means. Hubby says he's going to the gas station and get his cuppa for .79.

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  17. I love coffee but starbucks isn't my style. I like the little shops that aren't chains at all. But to save a buck I make my own at home. $4 for a cup of coffee is silly.

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  18. I'm with you. Too funny. Mumzie :)

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  19. I am way out of the loop, I have never been inside a Starbucks..but I did see that we can buy bags of coffee at our local grocery store. I rarely drink coffee, sometime I do tea..on a cold day.. I Like Lipton..you know the flow thru tea bag..plain old non fancy old lady tea.
    Prada bags huh..must be a little stuffy:)

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Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

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