Monday October 10 is Canadian Thanksgiving Day. While we are always grateful for what we have, sometimes we have to wonder if the turkey has a mind of it’s own. Over the years various mishaps have occurred, our oven has blown out, and we had to transport the half cooked turkey up 3 flights of stairs to a friends apartment. And once after 6 1/2 hours in the oven, the bird had to be hacked apart and cooked piece by piece. Each year we start the defrost cycle a day earlier, but our bird still remains stubbornly frozen.
Day 1: Wrench back trying to get perfect sized turkey out of wall cooler at grocery store. Ignore signs of accumulated frost making it look more like a snowman then a turkey. Ask gum popping cashier at check stand if she thinks it might be frostbite. After she removes her ear buds and cracks gum one final time, she cocks her head, and muses. “Huh” she asks. Decide to go ahead anyways.
Day 2: Calculate time needed to defrost turkey in fridge, recalculate, worry, and wonder if you used pounds instead of kilograms would it be any quicker, think about emailing newspaper and telling them that they are wrong about how long it really takes, since your calculations say it takes 10 days. And your turkey is under size. Push back despair, and recall that millions of people all over the world are able to pull together a Thanksgiving dinner without worry and effort. You just happen to be the millionth and unlucky one.
Day 3: Stop poking turkey in plastic wrapping to see if it is defrosting after Husband comments that you are spending more time looking in the fridge then a teenager. Relocate every other unneeded food item in fridge so turkey can have prime real estate in your now too small fridge. Who needs cream for morning coffee anyways.
Day 4: Realize that you will be poking turkey till the cows come home. And it’s still frozen solid. Great, you have the only fridge in the world that keeps food frozen - without a freezer.
Day 5: Consider serving turkey burgers instead.
Day 6: Wake up at midnight, 2 am, and 4 am to secretly poke turkey to see if it is defrosted. Nope, still frozen solid. Read online turkey day horror stories to see if anyone else has this problem. Wonder if they are true. They can’t be, right?
Day 7: Rejoice, turkey gave way slightly when poked. Come to conclusion that it just moved in tray. Give up and prepare frozen turkey for oven. Guests don’t need to eat at dinner time, after all it’s trendy to eat late at night.
Midnight, pull finally cooked, and perfect turkey out of oven. Yes it’s a late night dinner, but guest are understanding. After all, who hasn’t had turkey day trauma.
Day 8: Vow to start defrosting turkey 2 weeks before turkey day. Forget to mark calendar, and repeat.
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams